White men can't jump....but they sure can run

I just don't get it. People running for the subway, people running for the commuter trains. Why? So they can beat the other people who are running and knock over a few hapless pedestrians along the way? And why is it that only the white folks that are running?

Commuting each day into NYC has definitely opened my eyes to a lot of things I took for granted before. When I lived in the city and took the subway daily I just went with the flow and scurried along like the rest of the 9 million worker bees. Now I just take my time, allow myself enough time to get from A to B without having to run, dodge and potentially knock over a grannie in the process.

But each day there are quite a few men and some women as well who are running through the subway stations and running in Penn Station to catch their LIRR, Amtrak or NJ Transit train. The funny thing is, it's always the white people running. Running to get down the stairway to get to the main station, running to the track to get downstairs to the commuter train, running to get that slice of pizza and a beer so they can then run to the train with a fistful of food in addition to their briefcase and laptop bag. Why are you running white people, why? You don't see the Blacks or Hispanics running. HELL, even the Asians don't run, and they're known for scurrying around like cockroaches. I know I know, that sounded racist but it's true. I have nothing against Asians, its just that they are really fierce when it comes to walking around Chinatown. Have you tried it?

So my milquetoast brethren, SLOW DOWN. Take a nice stroll. Leave work 5 minutes earlier so you don't have to run and knock into me with your goddamned briefcase, or plow into me from behind and nearly shove me down or up the staircase. Because one day I will turn around and queen out and bitchslap your ass!!