24 August 2006

On being a big brother...

I posted this elsewhere back in mid-June 2006 but it is still poignant to me and bears posting again here.

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I’ve always enjoyed being the oldest of four children, but this weekend was extra special as I got to spend a lot of quality time with my youngest brother. There is quite a large age distance between us (I’m 33, my next brother is 32, then my sister is 20 and the youngest brother is 19) and for reasons that are too detail-laden, I was not there for the younger ones growing up. I remembered them as wee ones, and the next thing I knew I was being introduced to two young adults who I hardly knew just a few short years ago. Once I reconnected with them, my sister and I bonded immediately, and she and I are good friends. My 32 year old brother and I have always been close, so it was the youngest one that concerned me.

Whenever we’ve seen each other at family events we’ve had a good time chit chatting, but we rarely, if ever, did anything outside those functions. I tried getting together with him a few times but for whatever reason there was we just never got together except for a handful of times, and then it was with our significant others. It wasn’t until a month or so ago that an opportunity came about that I knew I needed to pounce on. He had indicated he was looking to transfer to a school in Long Beach, CA to finish his degree and was very excited at the prospect of going to school in California. I told him that I’d take him to visit the school when his current semester was over, and he was ecstatic. Unfortunately, a few weeks later he found out the school didn’t offer the degree program he wanted, and he was crushed. Seeing an opportunity to be the good big brother, I told him I’d take him to California anyway. He was beside himself with happiness.



From the moment we got in the car to go to the airport until the time we got home, we had the most amazing time. He and I talked about everything and anything, something which I feared would be a problem but turned out to be the exact opposite. We landed in LA, picked up a convertible, and just drove. We stopped in Venice Beach, Santa Monica, drove up Pacific Coast Highway through Malibu and back, then through Beverly Hills and finally West Hollywood where we spent the weekend with a friend of mine. The next day we spent driving down to the beach communities of Orange County as he wanted to see Long Beach (where the school is) and we wound up wandering all the way down to Laguna Beach. There we hopped back on the highway and headed back to WeHo where we spent the evening with my friends and friends of theirs. He hit it off with all of them, and one of my friends dubbed him “Joey” because “he’s like a little kangaroo bouncing all around”. It was very cute and for the rest of the weekend, he was known as and introduced as Joey. Sunday was LA Pride, and I had warned him about it on the plane, and he said he’d be ok. You see, growing up in rural areas, even in New York, you don’t encounter too many gay people, if any, so his exposure to gays was limited pretty much to me and Nick, my partner. He had never seen drag queens, transsexuals, and the host of other types that populate our culture, and I wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t freak out and would be comfortable enough in the situation. We wound up missing the parade, but there were about 10 of us that made it over to the pride festival with Joey in tow. He fit right into the group as the token straight, and all of his “gay uncles” watched out for him and made him feel a part of the group. He took it all in and seemed relaxed and ok with his surroundings. Afterward we went back to a friend’s place where we partied some more and then collapsed from exhaustion.

We awoke yesterday and got ready for our trip home, stopped at the beach to get his girlfriend some sand (at her request) and headed to the airport. As we sat down on the plane, he said to me, “I had a great time, and I definitely learned a lot this weekend.” I asked him what he learned, and he said “I learned that a lot of what I perceived to be true about gays was wrong, and what I was taught both from family and friends was based on fear.” Throughout the entire weekend I had been giddy with joy at spending quality time with my little brother, but at that moment I was overwhelmed. I always try to set an example, not only for strangers but for family and friends as well for them to see a normal gay man in a normal gay relationship, but hearing him say that made me nearly cry tears of joy. We talked most of the way home, made plans to do something next weekend and when it came time to part ways, we hugged, said I love you, and meant it. I haven’t been this happy in a long time, and I’m so glad I got to connect with my youngest brother.

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Post Script: Anthony and I are very close now. He and I talk constantly, and get to see each other more often than before our "excellent adventure" in LA.

22 August 2006

My newest toy


That's my new baby -- a Strato Blue, 2006 Mazda 3s Touring Sedan. Five-speed manual transmission, 160hp 2.3L engine. Power windows/door locks, 6 speaker AM/FM/CD stereo system with Sirius Satellite Radio hookup. And a whole list of other features I could rattle off at you, but really, when it comes down to it, it's a sexy beast, ain't it?

I love it.

It's my first brand new car, so naturally I've been a freak about it. Driving everywhere just for the sake of driving, showing it off to anyone who will look. I've been to the gas station twice and each time I've gotten out to pump fuel I've strutted proudly around the vehicle, chest puffed out, a swagger in my step, as if to say, "that's right -- the car is MINE!" I never thought I could get so much joy out of owning a new vehicle before. My spirits have been exponentially lifted since I got it on 14 August. We have friends coming over this weekend and I can't wait to show it off to them!

I hope the feeling doesn't wear off too soon. I love the exhilaration.

18 August 2006

We Now Return You To Our Regularly Scheduled Program...

Well HELLS BELLS, I'm back.

After much poking and prodding, I'll try to be more frequent than eight months between entries. A nudge from a friend, a poke from my partner, and a giant cattle prod up the butt from Best Gay Blogs is forcing me to write once again.

It's been quite a wild ride these last eight months. Work meltdowns, family crises, deaths, depression....plenty o' crap to go around. However there have been several high points as well. Going to Florida with Nick for a one on one hoilday back in May was just the tonic we both needed. Taking my youngest brother Anthony to LA for a "brother bonding" weekend was by far, in the top 3 of 2006. Plans to move to a house next door to my dad and out of apartment hell is on the horizon, and then there's the new cars.

Nick needed a new one, so we got him a 2006 Mazda6. It sure is pretty, but while he was filling out the paperwork I felt the gravitational pull of another vehicle in the showroom. As I wandered toward it, it actually spoke to me.

"Michael, it is your DESTINY. BUY ME."

Forced to find out more, I sat in the car and immediately felt as if it were made for me. The cockpit felt as if it had been designed with me in mind. I had to have this car.

So after two days of thought I went back and bought it. A shiny new, strato blue 2006 Mazda3. I've never owned a brand new car before, so I am completely over the moon. It's sporty, fuel efficient, spacious and got great write-ups in most of the automobile trade magazines. The price was right, so I did it. If I had been handed my newborn child at that moment I don't know if I could've been happier than when the dealer handed me the keys. What an amazing feeling. And the new car smell!!!! How long does it take to go away? Can I bottle it and spray it back on?

Too many updates to make in just one entry, so I'll leave on that high note. I promise to be here at LEAST once a week from now on. I really will.